In custody
disputes, children’s safety should be the court’s first concern. Yet many
parents and advocates worry that allegations of abuse can become tangled with
claims of “parental alienation,” a disputed concept often used to suggest that
one parent has manipulated a child into rejecting the other parent. While some
parents may behave in harmful or manipulative ways during separation, the label
can become dangerous when it is used too quickly to dismiss a child’s fear, a
protective parent’s concern, or credible reports of abuse.
The
concern is not that every custody dispute involves abuse, or that one gender is
always truthful and the other is always harmful. The concern is that courts,
evaluators, attorneys, and child-protection professionals must carefully
investigate safety concerns before assuming that a child’s resistance to
contact is caused by one parent’s influence. Children may resist contact for
many reasons, including fear, trauma, past mistreatment, loyalty conflicts,
developmental stress, or pressure from adults. A careful system should look at
the full context.
Two types
of parental alienation need to be clarified.
Narcissistic Parental Alienation (NPA) and Pedophilia Parental Alienation (PPA) alienation used by abusers to manipulate and control children during divorce. Narcissistic Parental Alienation as a psychological manipulation tactic where a narcissistic parent coerces a child into rejecting the other, targeted parent and getting the child to hate the other parent. Pedophilia Parental Alienation as psychological manipulation tactic where a narcissistic parent coerces a child into rejecting the other, targeted parent by sexual abuse to control the child and using threats of harming the other parent, a sibling or an animal. When other forms of parental alienation aren’t working on a child, the controlling parent can turn to sexually abusing the child to get them to comply.
Parental
alienation is commonly described in mild, moderate, and severe forms.
Parental
alienation is not about the child’s dislike of the parent; it is about the mental
abuse being used on them. We feel that alienation should be described as how strongly
abusive parents used mental abuse tactics. Mild being the fun dad or using
feelings to get the kids to feel bad for them. Moderate (NPA) where the child
is praised for telling the parent they hate them or don’t want to live with
them. (PPA) as sever when sexual abuse is used.
There is a
case in Michigan where the father cut the daughter’s vaginal area because it
was “too small to fit in” and the judge gave him custody.
Inquiring minds want to know how fathers are gaining custody when they admit to sexually abusing a child?
For years
this question kept going around in my mind and I just could not figure out how.
While listening to a podcast, Slam The Gavel, a guest from Colorado talked
about how that is possible. When the father admits to sexually abusing the child
and they say they are sorry, and will never do it again, they can be given
custody. Just a good ol sorry and that
is all that it takes!
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